Henry Miller once said “The best way to get over a woman, is to turn her into literature,” and granted few people knew he said this until it was a line in the movie (500) Days of Summer, but it resonates with some truth.

I interpret it not so much as a way to get the ultimate revenge; publish a story about how horrible they were, but more as a way of coming to terms with it all. Sure you start by scribbling down all the things they did wrong; like that time they broke up with you on Valentine’s Day. Then you might pepper in some self-loathing over the fact it was probably your fault that they fell for your best friend. But eventually, you toss with salad tongs made from the fond memories of weekend they whisked you off to the Spa & Resort to make up for cheating on you and suddenly, what was a train-wreck of a relationship turns into THE BEST BOYFRIEND YOU EVER HAD. Add Ranch Dressing and BAMMO, you’ve rewritten the past into something far more pleasant and less likely to have you kneeling on a cold bathroom floor with a razor blade pinched between your fingers.

I sort of imagine that as I type words there is a big eraser in front of me erasing the next memory so I can replace it with a new one. OR even better, that my words are like those brush things used in Curling to make the dealy-bob thing glide where you want it. Redirecting my memory dealy-bob towards that circle of happiness in the center of the universe. SCORE!

It takes a while to be okay with potentially miss-representing your past, but in the end, everyone remembers things differently, so who says one is right and one is wrong? I’m so okay with it that I quickly convince myself THAT IS TOTALLY HOW IT HAPPENED. Tell me differently and I might mumble “his memory sure has faded with age.”

So those memoirs I keeping threatening that I’m writing, are my way of getting over a man, or men(s). Though I’m over most of them; been back under, and then over some more than once. Still, I figure it’s a good idea to set the record straight. And by this I mean “Every word I write is based on factual evidence and everyone else is wrong.” I sorta think everyone should write their memories; kinda like a college final or a Life Theorem.