This Damn Book

I wonder how many people think I’m full of shit about writing a novel. I think I am some days. Why would anyone get as far as I have and then stop. It just began to feel like this overwhelming task. Getting those 300 pages was a piece of cake, but now, the editing and re-reading stops me in my tracks.

I started my second book.
Considered taking up the banjo.
Shit I packed up my life and moved to London to bury myself in my job.
All distractions.

But I’m picking at it everyday now. Reward myself with a nap in the park if I hunker down in the morning hours. My career is a labor of love that requires frequent breaks to rejuvenate, so I spend time there re-writing sections.

I’ve got to get back to carrying her, Betty Underground, in my head. Living through her. Seeing what she sees. Filtering experiences through her. Splitting time between being me, and being her. It’s hard. My life is full of new people who don’t know me in this way; the hermit, the introvert, the writer. I want to be with them. Don’t want to say ‘no’ to an invitation. They are creating opportunities for experiences and I’m gaining comfort for, and in, being social. I’ve torn down my own walls and I’m better for it.

It’s a balance I’m slowly finding. The internal battle between the extrovert and introvert is over. They now just need to find harmony so I can get on with it.

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4 Comments

  1. gracie

    Don’t rush it. You”re coming into a delightful balance and Betty’s not going anywhere. There’s time for you both. (This process is exciting to watch from afar.)

    Posted April 22, 2011 at 10:05 pm | Permalink
  2. Agsweep

    I can’t imagine why you would give a flying rip what I think, but I know if you wrote it, I would buy it and read it, just like yours is the first story in Truckin’ I read.

    Posted April 22, 2011 at 10:31 pm | Permalink
  3. Betty Underground

    Agsweep, I do give a rip! Somedays you do it for others when ya can’t muster the motivation for yourself.

    Thank you. I needed that!

    Posted April 22, 2011 at 10:43 pm | Permalink
  4. Let the words fall as and when they may. I’ve found my best writing comes out when the words are begging to put on paper.

    If they aren’t, go be a social butterfly for a bit. Never know when a random drunk conversation turns into a new chapter.

    Posted April 25, 2011 at 10:34 am | Permalink